Hey there, I'm reaching out because I have ADHD and my financial situation is a complete disaster. I'm 32 and was only recently diagnosed, and it's crazy to think how much earlier this could've been caught! But I'm determined to turn things around.
Since starting treatment, my life has improved in many ways. I've landed a great job at a medical startup, and I have an amazing partner who encouraged me to get evaluated for ADHD. But one area that still gives me major headaches is managing my finances. I'm drowning in about $5,000 of credit card debt and have student loans to pay off too. Every time I try to tackle my accounts, I feel completely overwhelmed and lost. I know I spend too much and have no savings, which makes me feel hopeless and embarrassed.
My partner and I are planning to move in together and talk about marriage, but he's gently expressed his concerns about my financial habits. I don't want to burden him with my mess, but I also don't know how to fix it. I've tried reading financial advice, but it feels like it's not meant for someone like me with ADHD. I've always felt worse with money than others, but now I wonder if my ADHD is a factor.
So, what do I do? How can I get my finances in order?
Here's where it gets controversial...
Dr. Christine Hargrove, a financial therapist who specializes in ADHD, says that money management is often a challenging area for people with ADHD. Research backs this up, showing that financial behaviors can be particularly difficult. When clients are on the right medication, their financial habits may improve, but challenges remain. For instance, they might still shop impulsively when their meds wear off or delay bill payments, leading to late fees and credit issues.
Hargrove explains that many people with ADHD feel ashamed, frustrated, and embarrassed about their finances. They feel like the standard financial advice doesn't apply to them, like trying to find clothes in their size but coming up empty. And she's right; traditional financial guidance assumes a level of self-assurance and discipline that many with ADHD struggle to maintain.
But here's the good news...
There's a growing body of research and advice specifically for people with ADHD and their unique financial challenges. Certified financial planner David Dewitt, who focuses on ADHD clients, says many don't even know where their money is going. He sees a lot of convenience purchases, like Uber Eats and DoorDash, and multiple accounts with late fees. It's a chaotic picture, but Dewitt believes it's a sign of someone doing their best to survive and function, not a lost cause.
The first step is getting a clear picture of your cash flow. Dewitt recommends using a visually oriented finance platform like Monarch, which makes tracking your money easier and more intuitive. Once you can see all your accounts in one place, it becomes less scary and overwhelming.
Both Dewitt and Hargrove suggest starting small and focusing on one realistic category at a time. Maybe it's meal planning to reduce takeout orders or curbing late-night Amazon browsing. Give it a clear definition and track your progress. You can add more categories later, but take it slow.
Dewitt suggests a simple five-minute financial routine each day, like reviewing your transactions from the past 24 hours. This builds awareness of your spending habits and reduces overwhelm. Hargrove agrees, recommending a quick in-and-out approach when finances feel daunting.
If you need extra support, consider inviting a friend over to keep you accountable. This strategy, known as "body doubling," can be especially helpful for people with ADHD in completing tasks. Having someone you trust there to provide extrinsic motivation and support can make a daunting task feel more manageable.
Research has shown that people with ADHD often know what to do financially but struggle to apply it to themselves. Asking yourself, "What would I advise someone else?" can help you think more objectively and take the problem less personally.
Setting strict screen-time limits and blockers on your devices can help if unplanned purchases are a challenge. Dewitt recommends the Cold Turkey blocker during focused work hours. He also suggests setting up automatic transfers to an account you can't easily access, like Acorns, which rounds up purchases and invests the difference.
It's important to remember that setbacks happen, and they won't ruin all your progress. Don't let your financial situation define your identity. Instead, focus on your goals, like being able to pay your half of the rent on time or getting out of debt. Writing these goals down can keep you grounded and motivated.
So, there you have it! A friendly, professional guide to tackling your finances with ADHD. Remember, you're not alone, and there are strategies and support out there to help you succeed. Now, go forth and conquer those financial challenges!
