Imagine this: you've been driving for two decades, yet the mere thought of a motorway sends shivers down your spine. This isn't a rare occurrence, and it highlights a significant issue: driving anxiety. Mary McCarthy, despite having a wealth of driving experience, finds motorways terrifying, having only driven on them about ten times in her life. She vividly remembers each experience as a 'disaster'.
Mary's fear is palpable. She describes feeling 'frozen' and 'petrified' in her lane, unable to overtake. This leads to honking from other drivers, which only intensifies her anxiety. Over time, this fear escalated, leading her to avoid motorways altogether. She likens the experience to a high-speed video game, with the other drivers making her anxious.
Driving anxiety is a far more common problem then you might think. Even as a passenger, she can't relax, and her anxiety makes her husband a 'nervous wreck' when he is driving. To avoid motorways, Mary usually asks her siblings or her 80-year-old father to take her on longer journeys, but feels embarrassed about it. She tells the BBC's Woman's Hour that she's 'just scared, I've set up my life to avoid it.'
Fortunately, Mary's driving anxiety isn't unusual. Diane Curtis Knight, a driving instructor specializing in helping anxious drivers, confirms that a fear of motorways is one of the most common issues she addresses. She explains that the root of the problem often lies not in the motorway itself, but in underlying stress or anxiety in other areas of life that surface when driving.
But here's where it gets controversial... The first step in addressing this fear, according to Diane, is changing how you talk about the problem. She suggests using the word 'yet' to reframe the situation. Instead of saying, 'I can't drive on motorways,' try, 'I can't do that yet.' This plants a seed of possibility in your subconscious.
Diane also recommends keeping a journal to identify the barriers preventing you from taking certain journeys. After each drive, score your anxiety levels before and after the journey, using a scale of 1 to 10. This helps you realize that the anticipation is often worse than the actual experience. Using this method as a basis to push yourself to take on more ambitious journeys can slowly help you improve, she says.
Tracey Field, a stress management practitioner, runs the website Confident Drivers, offering support to those struggling with driving anxiety. She points out that the issue is often exacerbated in couples where one person takes the lead on driving. This can lead to the other person becoming 'de-skilled' and 'less confident.'
Tracey says that it's often this lack of experience that causes problems. 'It's not actually the driving, it's the fear of the unknown, of not knowing automatically what to do when.' She recommends taking motorway lessons and easing yourself in gradually. This could involve using a short junction, driving during quieter times, or practicing on a small roundabout.
And this is the part most people miss... She also suggests learning emotional regulation techniques, such as breathing exercises or humming, to stay calm. A turning point for Mary came when she realized her driving anxiety was limiting what she could do with her children. As they've gotten older they increasingly go to different places, and public transport is not always a practical way to get there. Mary's 14-year-old daughter asked her why she couldn't just 'lock in' and drive, even offering help with directions. Now, ahead of turning 50 next year, she plans to take motorway lessons, partly to set an example to her daughter. 'I need to crack this fear, I would love to be able to drive on a motorway without feeling I am about to die.'
What are your thoughts on driving anxiety? Do you have any personal experiences you'd like to share? Let's discuss in the comments!
